Is my future predetermined?

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Do I shape my future or is it all predetermined destiny?

I have been struggling with this question for long now. I inherently am of the belief that we through our actions and thoughts shape our future. We cannot control all of it, of course, due to the many factors which are beyond us. It is extremely difficult for me to digest the fact that I am just a "cog in the wheel of the universe" and "que se ra se ra" (what will be will be). But am I being too egoistical here?
I found some explanation in an article " The Maya World of Quantum Physics". An extract...

" Are we capable of controlling our future. When our mind connects to the universal mind which we call Chitta in Hinduism, we are actually capable of controlling our future. This is because this chitta or zero point field provides a holographic blueprint of the world for all time, past and future. So one who can tap this field can well predict the future. Thus we can conclude as our scriptures tell us that everything in the future already exists at some bottom rung level in the realm of pure potential and when we look into the future or the past we help to shape it and bring it into being just as we do with a quantum entity in the present, by the simple act of observation. "

I find the latter half a little contradictory or am probably unable to understand it.

What do you believe? Is your life predestined or can you influence it?

Exercise 3: First impressions of the suit of disks

I took the Thoth deck and separated out the disks from ace to ten and spent a couple of minutes with each card. I wrote my first impressions of each card and what it meant to me.

Ace of disks
- powerful emblem of wealth and success
- confident creation of material aspects and wealth

Two of disks: Change
- differences of one whole being balanced
- completion of a cycle

Three of disks: Works
- action being undertaken
- wheels moving for creating results, may also cause some disturbance

Back to being a beginner

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I have been reading a lot of Douglas Gibb lately and am looking back at all the Tarot I have practiced from an entirely different angle now. More than anything, I feel the need to start anew. To first unlearn and then begin with a fresh and more open mind.

Why? I think what I have done until now is to know my cards on a basic level (a little superficial if I may be entirely truthful to myself, ugh that hurts). While reading spreads, I need to connect a lot more between the cards and maybe also try some new spreads. I have also been a bit shy of doing larger spreads lately (to avoid taxing myself?) and am sticking to the comfort zone of doing spreads with 3-5 cards (justfying it by saying these are more to-the-point).

It might be just the right time to start with my Thoth deck. A deck which draws and fascinates me but I am yet to begin to understand. I hope to start soon and will record my exciting new journey. Wish me luck!

Exercise 2: My Tarot Profile

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If I try and make a list of all the profile types (like my personality card, hidden card, soul card, year card, zodiac card…) I find there are just too many to deal with. Well, so as my exercise I calculated my favourite 3 profile cards. My personality card is 7 (Chariot), hidden factor card is 16 (Tower) and my year card is 8 (Adjustment).

My personality card: Chariot

If I were to look at the card as a person what would I read as its positive and negatives aspects? The Chariot stands for moving forward and the human will to go on in life. I always look for on how I can move ahead in life, no matter what. To keep doing what is required and what I think is right. But do I become too rational in the process? Do I build a wall around myself to maintain this composure. Do I need to learn to care a little more about how others might feel?

My hidden factor/teacher card: Tower

Break down the fortress of thine Individual Self, that thy

Truth may spring free from the ruins.

 What can I learn from the tower? Am I scared of change? Do I cling on too what I am comfortable with?  More than that is the combination of Chariot and the Tower telling me that I need to break away from bonds I have created for myself. Am I standing in the way of my own happiness?

My year card: Adjustment

The Adjustment is a symbol for the balance of contrasts, complementing one another and also the realization of cause and effect.

This year maybe I need to balance my actions and realize that what I do has consequences on other people too. I need to be honest with myself and see life in 3-D rather than my own glasses and act based on all I gather.

Reading: Career calling

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Question: Will my career show some improvement in the recent future?

Spread and interpretation:                                                                                

The current environment at work is happy, with the querent getting along well her colleagues and team. The boss sees the querent as a budding worker, who is growing in her role. What is going against the situation is some issue/factor which is hidden and which the querent does not know about. The most likely outcome is that the querent will probably not get all she wants out of her position in the immediate future. But, in all likely hood, making a small sacrifice today will lead to better opportunities later.

Reading: Marriage this year

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Question: Will I get married this year to the person of my choice?

Spread and interpretation:

The querent’s present circumstances is overall a positive one. Though there are a number of factors which might not seem favorable, there are not major. There is a third someone who has an influence on the outcome. What is going against the situation is this person who is confused whether the marriage should go ahead or not. His/her mind is closed and s/he is not sure which side to choose. What is positively affecting the issue is that this person is at the end of his/her struggle. The knot might not be tied by the end of this year but certainly favorable talks/actions will begin.

My new deck: Thoth Tarot

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I received my new Thoth tarot deck through mail yesterday. I could barely wait to open the packaging and look at the cards! I have been trying to locate them since over a year now. I spent some time with the deck yesterday, going over the cards and illustrations. I love the images and I know I will enjoy working with these. It will, however, take some time to get a feel for the decks and be able to differentiate it from the others.

Its strange how my quest began for the Thoth deck. The first time I looked at the deck at a store, I did not like them. In fact I quite disliked them, I thought the images were dark and of the sinister kind! I soon forgot all about the Thoth deck. But, about two years back, I started reading about the Kaballah and the Tree of life. The more I read, the more fascinating the theories became. And slowly the illustrations of the Thoth tarot did not seem that dark. And after some time they began to look quite interesting! About a year back, I knew I just had to have the deck, but, I could not find it on any of the stores. Amazon said it was out of stock! I just found this available on Amazon and Flipkart (Indian site which lets you order books etc.) and managed to get it. The deck is out of stock again.

Reference: Most interesting tarot decks and books are not available in India. However, you can order them through Flipkart

I was quite apprehensive on the service but was pleasantly surprised. The site told me upfront that since my product was an imported edition, it would take 14-21 business days to reach me. I got it in 16 days through Bluedart and in good condition. I plan to order a couple of books too and will update as I received them.

Exercise 1: Why Tarot?

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What is tarot (how would I explain to a friend)?
The tarot is a pack of 78 cards (usually) with illustrations meant to depict various emotions/stages/activities of life. The cards are divided into 22 major arcana cards (which illustrate significant aspects of life like Fortune, Strength, Sun) and 56 minor arcana cards which are further divided into 4 categories of Wands (Creative energy), Cups (Emotions), Pentacles (Wealth/Material aspects) and Swords (the Mind). Tarot cards are usually used for introspection or for making a prediction in future.

What do you feel is the purpose of the tarot?
The purpose of tarot is to bring together the learnings of all human subconscious across times and distances. We all experience common themes in life. A card we pick from a tarot deck reflects our current situation/feelings and helps to see life more clearly.

What do you want to learn from the tarot?
I want to know myself better and grow more as a person through the tarot. When I look at the cards, I realize the various lessons I need to incorporate in my actions. I also want to be able to be better prepared for the future or at times simply know what it might hold.

Reference: Tarot for Your Self: A Workbook for Personal Transformation,  By Mary K. Greer , Chapter 1